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Posts Tagged ‘Stillness’

winter_OK

No one but me by the fire,
my hands burning
red in the palms while
the night wind carries
everything away outside.

All this petty worry
while the great cloak
of the sky grows dark
and intense
round every little thing.

What is precious
inside us does not
care to be known
by the mind
in ways that diminish
its presence.

What we strive for
in perfection
is not what turns us
into the lit angel
we desire.

What disturbs
and then nourishes
has everything
we need.

What we hate
in ourselves
is what we cannot know
in ourselves but
what is true to the pattern
does not need
to be explained.

Inside everyone
is a great shout of joy
waiting to be born.

Even with summer
so far off
I feel it grown in me
now and ready
to arrive in the world.

All those years
listening to those
who had
nothing to say.

All those years
forgetting
how everything
has its own voice
to make
itself heard.

All those years
forgetting
how easily
you can belong
to everything
simply by listening.

And the slow
difficulty
of remembering
how everything
is born from
an opposite
and miraculous
otherness.

Silence and winter
have led me to that
otherness.

So let this winter
of listening
be enough
for the new life
I must call my own.

We speak
only with the voices of those
we can hear ourselves
and the body has a voice
only for that portion
of the body of the world
it has learned to perceive.

And
here
in the tumult
of the night
I hear the walnut
above the child’s swing
swaying
its dark limbs
in the wind
and the rain now
come to
beat against my window
and somewhere
in this cold night
of wind and stars
the first whispered
opening of
those hidden
and invisible springs
that uncoil
in the still summer air
each yet
to be imagined
rose.

~David Whyte~
River Flow: New and Selected Poems

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Image

“It seems to me that almost all our sadnesses are moments of tension, which we feel as paralysis because we no longer hear our astonished emotions living.  Because we are alone with the unfamiliar presence that has entered us; because everything we trust and are used to is for a moment taken away from us; because we stand in the midst of a transition where we cannot remain standing. 

That is why the sadness passes: the new presence inside us, the presence that has been added, has entered our heart, has gone into its innermost chamber and is no longer even there, – is already in our bloodstream.  And we don’t know what it was.  We could easily be made to believe that nothing happened, and yet we have changed, as a house that a guest has entered changes.  We can’t say who has come, perhaps we will never know, but many signs indicate that the future enters us in this way in order to be transformed in us, long before it happens.

And that is why it is so important to be solitary and attentive when one is sad: because the seemingly uneventful and motionless moment when our future steps into us is so much closer to life than that other loud and accidental point of time when it happens to us as if from outside.  The quieter we are, the more patient and open we are in our sadnesses, the more deeply and serenely the new presence can enter us, and the more we can make it our own, the more it becomes our fate.”

~Rainer Maria Rilke

Rarely am I ever speechless, but this is as close it gets.  I wept when I read this.  It is expressed so perfectly and eloquently, as if no one has ever had anything meaningful to say on the topic of our sadnesses until now.

If you liked this piece, go give some love to the Facebook page of “Rainer Maria Rilke”, because this is where I transcribed it from.  I have many books by Rilke, but I have never come across this piece before … beyond, beyond exquisite!

I’ve experienced a great sadness recently and I’ve really reached out to no one.  At times I wanted to pick up that phone, but I didn’t, I just knew it wasn’t what I needed.  My husband is out of town, too, so not even him to turn to.  And now I know, this has all been orchestrated for me to spend moments like I just did in the solitude of my back porch, reading Rilke, framed by the overhanging of our steadfast red mountain cedar.  Sure I could have commiserated with others, but I knew I had been touched in ways I could not yet understand, nor make sense of, nor find a solution for. 

I also knew there was a light, there was the “sunny hill” that my eyes had already touched, as Rilke writes in The Walk.   And I would be guided, even as I set out seemingly alone, I called upon all my guides and angels to be with me.  I was, as always, answered, in so many ways and continue to be.

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Silence

Wassertropfen

after you hold tight to the story
you may want to re-write it
but words don’t come

they don’t ask you to
change the belief
honor the pain
forgive yourself
or any other

the night is heavy
the day is light
it doesn’t matter

tell me what you’ve lost
I will surely tell you what you’ve found

you don’t have to die to ride
the softest wave
back home

floating on your back
letting life carry you

back to a nameless place
where Life sustains you

invisibly with its seamless love
weaving through your days
and nights

it’s not waiting for your gratitude
or your forgiveness
or your redemption

Innocence waits for nothing

It has no opinion of your story
holds no grudges,
makes no conclusion
knows nothing of your suffering

Innocence doesn’t age or remember
Holds no deep pockets filled with unending rules
It carries only one inherent knowing:
it knows the wholeness

It will ask only one thing of you,
that you be willing to hear it’s resounding chorus

It’s a sound like nothing at all
it sounds like
                                          stillness.

©heartsdeesire

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Still Heart

Image

 

If you keep indulging

the mind’s play, you will miss

the untouched stillness

inside your own heart.

~ Mooji ~

Writing on Water

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Image Locale

Continuing along the lines of my last post, Becoming, yesterday the word was Love.  So the hand on the heart pledge to myself was because I am not afraid, I will step into my greatness, I will step into all that I really am and I will experience my Love.  I will bring this Love to all that I do today.  If faced with a challenging situation, I will ask:
What would Love bring to this situation?
I noted it didn’t have to be a challenging situation, it could just be an unwanted thought.  Yesterday I had a scary thought, so I asked what would Love bring to this thought?  Scary thought went poof into the ethers because I was no longer giving any thought to it.
Today the word is wisdom.  In the shower today, I had another scary thought.  Now wisdom really requires me to step up my game here so to speak, because we are talking about identity here.  What am I giving the “I am” to?  Wisdom asked: what was I giving myself to in the scary thought?  The I am, the identity statement was I am not a good enough Mom which is really long hand for “bad Mom”.  First of all, wisdom said: does a “bad” Mom worry about whether she is good enough?  Hmmm, I don’t think so.  But let’s grant the belief anyway, even if it is making less sense by the second.  Wisdom said, Be Still and let yourself be open to receiving the knowledge that you are a loving, caring, good Mom.  And in the shower, I was “flooded” – how appropriate, eh? for being in the shower – with memories and images of all the Kodak moments of me as a wonderful Mom and all the accompanying feelings that go with wonderful, loving, caring, and present Mom.
Wisdom said: it’s up to you now which Mom you want to give yourself to.  You get to be on your side, you also get to be not on your side.  It’s your call.  Yes, it is always my call.  And today it’s a no brainer, of course I’m on my side.  But I’ve had my moments where it wasn’t a no brainer, I went with being not on my side.  Those are the moments I will now bring surrender to.  When I can’t do it by myself, I call to Something greater than me.  I don’t know what that Something is but I know it’s there and I know it’s benevolent and I know it’s on my side.  Surrender itself is being on my side, too.  Anyway I can get there, that’s where I point my compass.
Thank you wisdom or as Alanis Morissette would say: thank you clarity, thank you silence.

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radiowaves

We are beings of vibrating, oscillating energy and we can operate on both receive and transmit.  I note that I sometimes do quite a bit of transmitting.  There’s an inner conversation often running in the background relating to things I observe: I like this, I prefer that, this is good, don’t like that and so on.

What happens when I begin to allow myself to be in an open, receptive mode?  I take a few conscious deep breaths, feel myself grounded in this body and allow the inner commentary to quiet.  I slow down and enter the still waters of just pure awareness.  Pure awareness which is free from my personal take on anything; an observer largely aloof and uninterested in drawing conclusions or forming opinions about people, situations or events.  And I cease being the proverbial blade of grass blowing whichever way outer conditions are blowing today.  I pay things “no mind” — literally.  Now, I am one who receives.  Resting in receiving, I discover an intelligence and a wisdom that transcends my experience as a locally focused being.

Imagine this profound peace found while resting in pure awareness.  Situations that seemed dense and immovable now seem porous and malleable when I discontinue the running commentary about what looks like the facts and outer conditions.  To discontinue, to break the continuity, interrupt the transmission of a particular consciousness I hold towards anything is exactly what allows these situations to become more fluid and flexible.

Anything can change in an instant and these things do change as we do.

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stillness

 

A few weeks ago one of our cats, Angel, transitioned.  Then last week another one of our cats, Muffy, was missing.  I was upset, angry really, I was not going to lose two cats a few weeks apart.  And I was jumping to all sorts of conclusions about what had happened to him.  In this frame of mind, I went out canvassing the neighborhood with his picture, knocking on doors asking – had you seen him?  I crossed the street to a home on the edge of a cul de sac and walked up to the doorway.  As I rang the doorbell, a sign to my left caught my eye.  It read: Be still and know that I  AM.  I just sort of froze in the moment and really took in the meaning of that sign and the message I felt the Universe was conveying to me in the moment.  All my action oriented efforts from this place of resistance will not bring Muffy home.

I stopped knocking on doors and went home to take the message in literally.  I meditated for a little bit and then I went about my day in mindfulness practice. Fully present with everything I was doing no matter how trivial it was.  No more banging anything into place.  I had conceded as much before that there was very little the locally focused me could accomplish and even less when approached with a resistant stance.  Now I was walking the walk.  No knee-jerk reactive thoughts, just being in the moment.  All judgment and conclusions suspended, I was at rest in still waters.  It also helped that I’d been actively doing a mindfulness practice so that it was easy to return to when I had found myself floundering.

Muffy walked in the door a few hours later much to our glee!  He was a little skinnier than usual but otherwise unscathed.  We exchanged kisses.  He is our one cat who loves to kiss and we fed him lots of tuna.

Florence Scovel Shinn has written: my ship comes in over a calm sea.  Makes sense, doesn’t it?  I thank Universe/Field/Spirit for the reminder earlier in that day – Be still and know that I AM.  The Universe is continually in conversation with me; this time I was taking note and listening.

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