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Posts Tagged ‘Spring’

Well, how is everyone, as Spring emerges here in North America?  It’s been an interesting time, hasn’t it, lots of energy swirling both globally and individually. I’ve likened it to be on a rolling coaster ride, you coast, then up in the air you go, and whoosh down you go.  I had a dream recently where I was on a roller coaster and the thing you hold onto broke.  I told my friend about it and she said that’s to let us know life wants us to enjoy the ride, and throw our hands up in the air in joyful abandon!  
 
Be well and at peace my friends, even if the thing you hold onto breaks, either way it will pass whether we tense up or enjoy the ride.

A compilation of daily blessings: Windows and doors open today, the birds are singing – they sing of an unchanging love that takes its delight and form in all of us. I turn the channel towards your light, to the only constant truth that ever remains.
 
I love watching the hillsides go from just a hint of green, while buds swell, and then burst forth donning their youthful shade of spring green -then seeing the color deepen and mature each passing day to emerald greens. There’s a joyful constancy in Spring and in this Universe, this is the promise and the blessing of every new day.
 
Life, exquisite for its beauty and its fragility. A divine essence, back of all things, always remains intact. I cannot hold myself apart from that, I can think that I can, but that’s not what’s real. What’s real is there is no place where I am and God is not.
 
Where there is chaos, let me trust in a Divine Order at work here. Where there is change and surprise, allow me to ease into new possibilities. Where there is fear and doubt, teach me to live in – only this moment now. Where there is uncertainty, may I rest in the promise of new opportunities. Where I have lost my faith remind me, my faith has not lost me.

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wind god

Today’s blessing: ah, the wind softly whispered hints of spring. “Be patient, be patient”, it said. The birds chirped, “It’s here, it’s here.”

My heart was content to be in the spaces of here and not here, for the only day that matters is, of course, right here.

A Monday, unlike any other Monday behind it or ahead of it.

I mark it’s radiance here — knowing, too, between these majestic skies and this fertile earth, comes the spirit of wind winding through the streets, upon its wide sweeping shoulders rides the next evolution of change.

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The transition from winter to spring is always such a profound experience in nature.  The earth seems still, sometimes frozen, but so much happens underground that is unseen, invisible to us, but there none the less.  Were it not so, spring would not happen.

I feel a bit of my own inner spring, new growth taking place.  I’ve been in the winter of my life around a particular subject, my Mother, who transitioned many, many years ago.  I was sort of stuck in what felt like an eternal winter.  Never coming to a place of completion with her.  Always feeling like I need to forgive, but forgiveness would not come.  

There were a few false starts, thinking I’ve come to a better place with my Mom – my inner spring had sprung.  Metaphorically a lot like what some of you are experiencing across the country – it’s spring, no wait, it’s winter, but no, it’s spring … ah, yes, spring, finally … no, dang it, it’s winter again!!

And so here I am in spring, finding it wasn’t about forgiveness after all.  It was about opening my heart.  Oh, it didn’t come easy but when it came, it did come authentically.  

A little background: I was about to go to an energy workshop.  We were told to bring 2 or 3 objects that we felt held lots of energy.  I brought a picture of me and my Mother.  I am about 11 years old.  I would always have a visceral, recoiling response to the picture of my Mom.  Before I go to the workshop, I show it to three friends.  One dear friend who is highly, highly intuitive, immediately read fear in my Mom’s eyes and overall presence.  

I went to the workshop, and showed it to my mentor, also highly intuitive.  My mentor said her impression was also fear, just all pervasive fear that completely drove her every moment, every behavior, every decision, every action she took.  She continues: this isn’t someone who wanted to dominate or control you, this was all about keeping her own fear at bay.  Now my mentor doesn’t even know control and domination was the overall theme of my childhood.

I went home and processed that – more winter, a lot happening under the surface.  But then the seedling burst through the earth, and it wasn’t the seedling of forgiveness.  It was the seedling of true compassion.  If she’d been a quadriplegic in a wheel chair, would I have needed to forgive her?  Truly that’s who she was, completely paralyzed by fear.  Forgiveness then becomes a moot point.  It never had anything to do with me. Everything I took so personal was her living out of her fear.  There was never anything to take personally; I wasn’t to blame.

And so dear Mom, I can let you go now, and let go the charge I held all these years.  I can love the person you were in your heart of hearts.  I look at that picture of her now truly with eyes of compassion, no more visceral response.  What a gift this has been in my life.  Tears flowing as I write…

And…wait there’s more…I then turned and recognized how fear operated in my own life, different than her, but there just the same.  So my new journey is healing that.  Perhaps I am healing my own ancestral DNA, as my Mom’s family fled from Nazi Germany.  I don’t know what I’m doing, really, I just know this little seedling is no false start – she will continue to grow into the sweetness and beauty of her own Inner Spring.

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Gardens

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“To plant a garden is to believe in tomorrow.” ~Audrey Hepburn*

This applies to all gardens, the literal ones and the metaphorical, symbolic ones.  It is to infuse our dreams for the future with faith.  Faith is the doorway to the realization of possibilities and potentials.

What many of my readers don’t know is that I raise a very special son.  He has brain injuries that have had a profound effect on him.  Several years ago we weren’t even sure we could continue to provide for his special needs in our home.  That’s when together, he and I wrote a letter from his future self.  In that letter, he was the person he dreamed of being, and all his needs were provided for throughout his childhood, in the nurturing safety and stability of our home.

Every night we read that letter together, until one day we no longer needed it.  The seeds we planted had come to fruition.  We believed, and our faith moved mountains. 

As we approach Spring, happy gardening everyone … whether you plant seeds in the earth or seeds in your consciousness, your heart enduringly sings of a belief in tomorrow.

 

*props to my friend Marie, for providing the inspirational quote

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Oh, it’s that time of year again!  I re-post this poem I wrote in ’09 every Spring now.  This year the cherry blossoms beckon to be teased out.  Perhaps they will hear the soft echo of this poem in the air, coaxing them every so gently, come be with us…we sing your praises…you won’t be here for long, but we notice, oh, yes, we do notice!

o, to be held captive
inside your cherry blossoms

pinned to your creamy folds

like a bumble bee chubby with pollen
too deliciously full to move

until I am drunk with your fragrance
intoxicated with wonderment

stunned with awe
speechless with amazement

and tumble out onto the splendid
soft green earth filled with the
pulsing passion of being alive

©heartsdeesire

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“There are two ways to live: you can live as if nothing is a miracle; you can live as if everything is a miracle.”  Albert Einstein

“The most ordinary of things can easily turn extraordinary, making us wonder if, perhaps, the extraordinary is hidden in the ordinary always, just waiting to be discovered.”  Jeff Foster

The wisdom of two people a few generations apart, both articulating similar viewpoints … leading me back here on the subject of grace again…

Spring is about to pop across this great nation.  I look forward to spending time with a single green leaf.  It has pores and veins just like we do!  I love how the newness of spring buds begins in the soft, lucent green of a newborn leaf, and matures in a few weeks to it’s bigger, deeper self.  

These are moments that have saved me.  They are times when life’s situations, the problems, my thoughts, worries, fears, judgments … all fall away … and I find myself melding into the here-ness of the moment.  It is, truly, all that is.  

And this, ah, yes … this is my saving grace.

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Inevitable Change

So funny how a few hours can change everything.  Ok, well not everything but I can go from a high of such inspiration to the lows of midnite, 2am, 4am, etc. worries and no longer any consolation in invisible grace.  How swiftly I can become caught up in the worries of being a mother and worst case scenarios.  And then this morning a tree that is awash in deep pink blossoms can make me cry because, for a moment, I remember invisible grace now made visible.  How hope does spring eternal and how spring always comes ’round again.

And then just as easily back in worry, fear and sitting right by my computer my eye catches the print out of “she let go…” which I shared here a few weeks ago.  And for another moment, I am again lost in equal parts of the stillness in letting go and the exquisite heart break of spring upon me once again.

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