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Posts Tagged ‘Mother’

I love what Wendell Berry writes of in this poem.  A Mother’s love
that is so willing to rest always in love.  No matter what little or big
things come up, that love remains.  In other words, those things
that can come up — she ‘pays it no mind’.

Believing in someone is always a force for the good.  It is to merge
Heaven on Earth, as Wendell Berry brilliantly reflects in this tribute
to his Mother.  Enjoy and Happy Mother’s Day!

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To My Mother

I was your rebellious son,
do you remember? Sometimes
I wonder if you do remember,
so complete has your forgiveness been.

So complete has your forgiveness been
I wonder sometimes if it did not
precede my wrong, and I erred,
safe found, within your love,

prepared ahead of me, the way home,
or my bed at night, so that almost
I should forgive you, who perhaps
foresaw the worst that I might do,

and forgave before I could act,
causing me to smile now, looking back,
to see how paltry was my worst,
compared to your forgiveness of it

already given. And this, then,
is the vision of that Heaven of which
we have heard, where those who love
each other have forgiven each other,

where, for that, the leaves are green,
the light a music in the air,
and all is unentangled,
and all is undismayed.

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So those of you who have read me lately are finding these favorite or top 10 lists.  I started doing them on a women’s group after listening to an Abraham tape.  Esther is described as telling Jerry her top ten favorite things on a given subject.  I loved that idea, so I’ve been doing it daily.  Mine don’t always count to 10, often don’t read like a typical top ten list and have lots of twists, turns and surprises.  I include them now and again here.  Someday I think it would be lovely to compile them all together for myself and see the progress.  Anyway, so here’s today’s.  It’s different, it’s revealing, too and I’m ready for that now.

1.   OMG the pure sense of relief in finally accepting
2.   I was raised by a seriously pathological and exploitive mother (stay with me here :-) )
3.   I don’t have to make excuses anymore
4.   I don’t have to make sense of it either
5.   I feel, know the truth of this
6.   forgiveness is not even relevant
7.   I no longer need my Mother’s love
8.   just as I don’t need water from a dry well
9.   I’m free to be a fully realized me
10. I have everything I need now to fully blossom
11. I picked the very best timing to do neuro-feedback and dream work with a Jungian therapist
12. my Daddy’s dead, I don’t have to worry about dishonoring his smaller self that is no longer here
13. this is about me now
14. I had all the freedom in the world to be who I came here to be but I didn’t know it
15. I let things hold me back
16. they felt important
17. sometimes I wasn’t even conscious of them
18. I am becoming more conscious now
19. I love becoming a more conscious fully integrated human being
20. who came here to be her beautiful Bethie self
21. and now she can be
22. joy is all I have to say, pure utter joy
23. no wait, one more thing
24. EF’ing COOL!!!

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