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Posts Tagged ‘Fear’

I saw that movie the other day.  You know, that movie.  The one whose title is three words, each a single syllable in length, having to do with food, God and um, lust.  The one based on the book that’s been on the top 100 on Amazon for 900 plus days.  Yes, the one that stars Julia Roberts.

Why do I speak in riddles, you ask?  Ok, maybe you didn’t ask, but I’ll tell anyway.  I speak in riddles because I would like to see what it’s like to hit this blog archive in the year, say 2528.  I imagine how they would puzzle over what exactly is she talking about.  I wonder would they still have acronyms for wth and lol or omg.  Surely we’ll still have acronyms by then.  I figure this blog piece will definitely merit a wth, probably less so an omg.  Maybe omg will be replaced by omrrr, short for oh my red roving robot.  Such stereotypical humor, I know.

I digress, my point and I do have one, is this movie.  I want to share with you some highlights in the form of one liners from it and then comment on a few.

“Americans know entertainment.  But they don’t know pleasure.”  (no comment on this one :)

“Select your thoughts, the way you select your clothes.”  Good one especially if you are a fashionista, if not, you’re s.o.l.  — just kidding!

“God dwells within you as you.”  Love this.  It reminds me of Thomas Mellon-Benedict, who, coming back from death and a “near death experience”, was told: Stop trying to become God, God is becoming you.

“The only way to heal is to trust.”  Ain’t that the truth!

“Run away from me and you run away from the possibilities of your own life.”  “Sometimes losing your balance for love is finding your balance for life.”

“Ruin is a gift.  Ruin is the road to transformation.”  I agree with this one, can’t say I love the word “ruined” though.  Abraham says they wish for us that we all go home and find our houses blown down.  They were referring to friends of Jerry and Esther’s whose house did blow down in a hurricane and how, in the ensuing months, it changed their lives for the better.

“I thank God for fear.”  Me, too!  For one, do you feel fear?  Check your pulse, you’re alive and able to feel it.  Wonderful!  Why are we so afraid of fear?  Was it Churchill who said the only thing we have to fear is fear itself?  I submit the only thing we have to fear is fear of fear.  Resistance to fear is fruitless.  Books are written every other day to teach us how to move beyond fear.  How about we move with it instead?

I learned something very valuable out of a book entitled “The Magician’s Way”.  It postulated the novel idea of allowing for failure and for worst case scenarios.   I’ve used this many times now and it’s always helped me make peace with my fears.  And I learned a lesson, too, from using it.  The author didn’t say imagine failure or worst case scenarios.  He didn’t say wallow in them either.  He also didn’t say take your worst case scenario and make it bigger, catastrophize it.  He also did not say take your worst case scenario and get in bed with it.   He merely suggested, allow for that worst case scenario possibility.  Acknowledge the possibility of failure or that worst case scenario.

Try it the next time you are afraid and see what you think.  I think it feels like having my fear without my fear having me.  And that literally feels like a breath of fresh air.

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Poking

Been listening to Abe, the most recent, for just a bit today.  I wondered how long I was going to poke around in the problem/solution before I was done.  Then I thought I better quit poking unless I want said problem/solution bigger.

Then of course it occurs to me this “better quit poking” is all about control/fear.  I cop to all of it being about control/fear.  I get up in the middle of the night, open the shades to check outside and make sure there isn’t what? a boogeyman out there.  Some new contrast to come bite me in the ass, when I’m not looking, so if I look it will bite less? :)

This whole idea that I have to glean some message out of what happened, learn the lesson, grok it, understand it, make sure I expand out of it, is also all about control/fear.  As if, if I really get the lesson, I pass go and I won’t be sent back to contrast jail.  Perhaps I’ll visit but I won’t miss my turn.  So there.  :)

I am still poking around, I guess.  When my Mom said don’t touch the stove, it’s hot, I had to check to make sure.  However, this is not the same as putting my hand in the fire.  I am just checking/poking around in temperature levels, got that Universe?  Good.

Bless my little pea-pickin’ fearful self.  What I really want to do is pluck the full ripe blossoms and let the juices spill out over the corners of my mouth.  I want pea-pickin’ fearful girl to fall away and slip off of me like so much of nothing.

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Image Locale

what do i do with these images
of thin sheets of curled steel laying upright on our yard
what do I do with these images of cars thrown about
like three colored dice rolled out on the lawn

what do I do with the fear of this stunning force and power
a car has — the ability to change everything in an instant

I too have the power to change anything in an instant.

I want to curl up first, I want to spill out of a bottomless pit of grief

And then I want to rise up remembering who I really am.
I want to feel every millimeter of that blossoming me
that begins from down low and narrow in its roots and
slowly rises and expands upwards and outward curling
as it goes up to the sky, making handholds for those
who need the flowers — me.

I want to hear the birds begin their chorus of song at every
moment of the day, our daily problems so inconsequential to them

I want to remember that at the end of the day no matter what that day has been,
I can open my window and I can hear that chorus of birds right now.
Their sole job is to sing and to sing, and to sing again.  Their beauty sings to me.

Today perhaps you would allow I could say they sing for me.
They sing: come sing with us Bethie.  Breathing now, I say I will, I will.
I am almost there.  No, I am already there.

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Image Locale

I’m listening to Sonia Choquette’s Trust Your Vibe.  This is really my first exposure to Sonia Choquette’s work and I must say I love her.  I love her energy, I love her vibe, her soft friendly voice and her talent as a teacher.

As it also happens, I’m doing some deep inner work this week.  Plunging the depths of unknown inner territory and it’s scaring the heck out of me.  So I’m listening to Sonia Choquette and here’s what she says about fear:

“It isn’t fear that paralyzes you.  It’s hiding fear that paralyzes you.  Here’s my experience: it takes so much effort to hide fear that you really do get frozen in your tracks. …  Feel your fear and go with your vibration anyway.  Simply saying: I’m afraid. … Feel your fear, make peace with your fear, good grief never try to get over it.  Just say I’m afraid and I’m OK with that.  Once you express that energy it’s like getting the boulder out of the road.  It is such a relief not to hide that.  The impetus to move forward becomes so great that in spite of your fears you find yourself moving in the right direction, taking the risk, doing the right thing.”

Ok, so I’m here to say it out loud to lord knows how many people: I’m afraid and I’m not going to hide and I’m not going to let that fear stand in the way either.

This girl has no room in her hotel for anything less-ness.  All my interior rooms shall be filled with the golden sun of pure love streaming through to reveal all my much-ness.  And jabberwocky of fear, I shall not slay you after all, we shall be friends and walk through this together.

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innerbeing

Image Locale

Fear is that place of disconnection where you decide
to tough it out all on your own.

But peeking around the door,
is that Inner Being of yours.
Saying come dear one, I’m here with you.
Here I am. I’m always here. I am Love.

When you are afraid, you don’t know me.

I am the sun peeking through the clouds.

When you are afraid, you look down, you don’t see me.

Look up, look around, see me now.
I am here. Feel me now. I have not left you.
I’m always here for you.

Don’t look for me in your worries, I won’t follow.

In that smile of yours, the one that just beams from the inside,
that’s the beginning of where I am.  Come be with me.
I am always here for you.

With love from one Inner Being to another…

Bethie

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