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Posts Tagged ‘Abe’

Poking

Been listening to Abe, the most recent, for just a bit today.  I wondered how long I was going to poke around in the problem/solution before I was done.  Then I thought I better quit poking unless I want said problem/solution bigger.

Then of course it occurs to me this “better quit poking” is all about control/fear.  I cop to all of it being about control/fear.  I get up in the middle of the night, open the shades to check outside and make sure there isn’t what? a boogeyman out there.  Some new contrast to come bite me in the ass, when I’m not looking, so if I look it will bite less? :)

This whole idea that I have to glean some message out of what happened, learn the lesson, grok it, understand it, make sure I expand out of it, is also all about control/fear.  As if, if I really get the lesson, I pass go and I won’t be sent back to contrast jail.  Perhaps I’ll visit but I won’t miss my turn.  So there.  :)

I am still poking around, I guess.  When my Mom said don’t touch the stove, it’s hot, I had to check to make sure.  However, this is not the same as putting my hand in the fire.  I am just checking/poking around in temperature levels, got that Universe?  Good.

Bless my little pea-pickin’ fearful self.  What I really want to do is pluck the full ripe blossoms and let the juices spill out over the corners of my mouth.  I want pea-pickin’ fearful girl to fall away and slip off of me like so much of nothing.

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