Archive for March, 2014


“You could probably boil all your suffering down to this:
‘I want to control this moment but I cannot!!!’”

“So much of our suffering comes down to fear of loss of control, a resistance to chaos, a desperation for a new order in the midst of a storm.”

” ‘DO NOT SEEK OUTSIDE OF YOURSELF FOR HAPPINESS’, the storm bellows. You will suffer until you realize this, and then you will suffer every time you forget it, and so suffering is a meditation bell in a storm, part of life’s ingenious invitation.”

“Suffering – when you don’t run away from it, numb yourself to it, or deny it – will always bring you face to face with the fact that what you are cannot ever be defined, divided, or destroyed.”

“Suffering is nothing more or less than resistance to the present moment, the pushing-away of its inevitable suchness, a botched attempt to control or escape the Now…”

“You don’t need to be the peaceful one, the awakened one, the strong one, the highly evolved one, the one immune to suffering. All are false limitations on your limitless nature. Simply be what you are, not ‘this’ one or ‘that’ one, but The One, the space for all of it.”

“It’s about coming alive. It’s about waking up to grace. It’s about unconditional friendliness and infinite kindness to yourself. It’s about making it safe, finally safe for all of those unloved, un-met, unseen waves of the ocean of yourself to crawl out of the depths, out of the darkness, out of the corners and holes and crevices of experience and come into the light, blinking and full of wonder.”

These quotes are all from Jeff Foster.  They were beautifully compiled (and more) by Nic Higham.  You can visit Nic here and Jeff Foster here.

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soft breeze warm sunshine

the same calm

even the withered trees

on the dark cliff

are blossoming

I tried to find

where Subhuti*


but suddenly in the shadow

of mist and fog

the path split a thousand ways.

~ Muso Soseki ~
Music of the Sky: An Anthology of Spiritual Poetry

*Subhūti was one of the Ten Great Śrāvakas of Śākyamuni Buddha, and foremost in the understanding of emptiness.

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Today’s Blessing: In the night, when I awoke with fear and worry, I greeted my old companions on this road. At times fear, I have thought you foe — together we would toss and turn, tangling ourselves in the bedsheets.

But not last night, instead I lay there peacefully and welcomed you. You are the mind’s way of trying to help. You are not my enemy. I have no real enemies.

I have a Universe that supports my well being, and it’s got my back. I am a daughter of this Universe. I am changeable, adaptable, flexible. Therefore, I am one with all Life, as the Universe carries at its essence, fluidity. This is why Rilke once wrote: “just keep going, no feeling is final.” I keep going, I do what is before me to do with a grateful heart.

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“Between stimulus and response there is a space. In that space is our power to choose our response. In our response lies our growth and our freedom.”  Viktor E. Frankl

Frankly, Mr. Frankl, I think on some primitive level we are hardwired for stimulus/response … or should I say – first stimulus then react?  What we are not hardwired for, and therefore must actively cultivate … is stimulus, what happens, and then response, how we actively choose to be with what happens.

Responding is something that requires an inner poise, several moments perhaps of quieting the body and mind through deep, conscious breathing — a means of reorienting the self out of flight or fight and into a mindful, grounded, choice-filled presence.

I had a real, visceral experience of this recently, as we all have had at some point. Potentially life changing moments can feel initially very scary, they can trigger all sorts of responses on a physical and emotional level.  I watched myself go through these reactions and then stop, very consciously breathe to allow enough space in to access that poise.

Pausing, breathing, acknowledging, allowing, add in some resistance, it may still come … allow this too.

It’s abhorrent.  Pause, breathe, allow this, too.  It shouldn’t be this way.  This isn’t right.  Pause, breathe deeply, allow this, too.

The space that Mr. Frankl speaks of is one that I find is nurtured over time with practice.  Maybe then it will be the go-to place we are hardwired for but maybe not.  What matters most?  My opinion: only this moment that we are not at war with ourselves, life or anyone else.

The golden ticket, the key that unlocks the door, is in that space where I allow myself to pause long enough to choose how I can genuinely be with whatever arises.  Genuine might be in that first knee jerk, primitive response, and that’s ok … but I am no longer fighting for my survival, as I did so many light years ago, today I can choose.  

Today I stand for freedom, my freedom, and for my right to choose how I will meet this moment.  My freedom, ironically lies in simply standing still, pausing, not believing or disbelieving in anything, all possibility and potential exist here, and I most importantly, cease to argue with life. 

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Don’t go anywhere without me.
Let nothing happen in the sky apart from me,
or on the ground, in this world or that world,
without my being in its happening.
Vision, see nothing I don’t see.
Language, say nothing.
The way the night knows itself with the moon,
be that with me. Be the rose
nearest to the thorn that I am.

I want to feel myself in you when you taste food,
in the arc of your mallet when you work,
when you visit friends, when you go
up on the roof by yourself at night.

There’s nothing worse than to walk out along the street
without you. I don’t know where I’m going.
You’re the road and knower of roads,
more than maps, more than love.


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Yup, it could have been a haiku.  I tried, before I scrapped it all and wrote this instead …once again on the subject of spring and hope and optimism, and not just for a weather pattern.

rain flowers streaked the veined grass
while she smiled daisies
overhead a rainbow’s untrimmable light
and still, she smiled daisies
I want to contain her, bottle her
and then release her everywhere
No, she says, I am everywhere
when you look at the heart of a lotus petal
there you will find me and you.
Did you want to contain that?
No, I answer.
I ask only for reverence, wonder, curiosity, and hope,
dear precious hope
to perpetually bubble up until it spills
into ever-wideneing circles of rainbows.
Then I want to go to the highest skies and ask the rainbows:
I bid you please share your sage wisdom with me
Ah, they say, be here, silent, smiling daisies,
you’re closer now than you’ve ever been.

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wind god

Today’s blessing: ah, the wind softly whispered hints of spring. “Be patient, be patient”, it said. The birds chirped, “It’s here, it’s here.”

My heart was content to be in the spaces of here and not here, for the only day that matters is, of course, right here.

A Monday, unlike any other Monday behind it or ahead of it.

I mark it’s radiance here — knowing, too, between these majestic skies and this fertile earth, comes the spirit of wind winding through the streets, upon its wide sweeping shoulders rides the next evolution of change.

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