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Archive for August 30th, 2013

 

Shouldphoto

My new spiritual practice is in ‘letting myself have’.  Letting myself have means *accepting* whatever thought form is bobbing up on the surface, in any given moment.  That’s all they ever do, those little buggers, is bob up on the surface — the should’s and their kissing cousins, the ought to’s and the must’s.  Give that thought form some additional air time, sign on the dotted line…

                                                                                                                              ‘yes, you/they/he/she should’

and by gosh, a bob becomes the muck and mire, congratulations you’ve bought a consonant, and a bog!   Enter being at war with ourselves.  Enter being at war with life.  Enter suffering.

A very wise friend of mine once said “anything you can let yourself have, you can let yourself release”*.  I did the simple math and it’s obvious anything that you judge that should be different, any notion that a situation is not, should not be this way, is a means of staying intimately engaged with it.

The process is very simple, I’ll give you some examples below:

I should be out of bed and dressed by now.
Letting myself have … I am in bed and, I am not dressed.

I should not care what others think of me.
Letting myself have … I care what others think of me.

I should be a better Mom.
Letting myself have … my application for sainthood has been denied, Mother Teresa still reigns. :-) 

I should not be having this argument with my husband.
Letting myself have … my husband is an a**hole.
Just checking to see if you are still reading!  This was part of my actual process last night and the humor is what allowed me to let it go.

I should be doing the laundry.
Letting myself have … I am not doing the laundry.

I shouldn’t be afraid of ___________.
Letting myself have … I am afraid of ___________.

I should have my spiritual sh*t in one sock by now.
Letting myself have … I am where I am.

That’s the gist of ‘letting myself have’.  It doesn’t matter what we let ourselves have, but in the letting is the releasing.  As I loosen my grip on how it should be, muscles that were tensed relax, I breathe more freely.  And what remains is the peace that comes from the willingness to say yes to whatever arises.

*props to my wise friends Holly S. and Ahmee for their inspiration.    

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