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Archive for October, 2011

Joy Rising

Warning: rampant joy alert, high risk of smiles, and full body goosebumps!

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Never too Late

It is not because things are difficult

that we do not dare,

it is because we do not dare

that things are difficult.

~Letters from a Stoic~

 

 

 

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“I could care less.”  It’s an interesting phrase, isn’t it?  Often used as sort of a flippant response to information that you’ve just received.   But the actual words contradict the intention behind uttering them.  In essence, one is actually saying that you *could* care less.  And this is where I begin, in caring too much and caring less.

Within the system of the Chinese Elements, there is the element of earth, yin and yang earth.  Yin earth is the archetype of Mother.  It’s the mother’s job to care, to nurture and to support.  This is a big part of who I am, yin earth, it’s in my core destiny, which is revealed in my birth date via the 9 star ki.  It’s also revealed in the shapes and curves of my particular facial features.

Every element has a front and a back, challenges and strengths.  We don’t get to choose just the strengths, but we do get to choose how we evolve through both the strengths and challenges.

Among the Mother’s or yin earth’s challenges:  caring too much to the point of excessive worry, worst case scenario type thinking, meddling in other people’s right and responsibility to figure things out for themselves, and trouble with just saying no sans the – omg, I said no, what will they think of me now – guilt hangover.  If I’m being completely frank here, welcome to my world!

My girl friend told me she was starting a 30 day process of caring less.  Caring less, is not to be without caring, but to care without the suffering.  This really piqued my interest.  When she feels overtly concerned about something, she tells herself – she could care less about this, and then finds and inhabits the feeling place in the body of caring less.  I would add breathe into the feeling place as if it’s a gentle wave lifting you up and carrying you into that sweet place of relief.

The next morning after she and I talked, I woke up and lay in bed.  This seems to be a time when I most kick into worry, worst-case scenario mode, followed by how-can-I-fix-this mode.  Truth is 99% of my worst-case scenario thinking a) either never comes true or b) is what 12 step calls stinkin’ thinkin’.  It’s just not true, period.  The other truth, if there’s any fixing to be done, unless I’ve got the power to spin the planets today (I checked, I don’t) get out of the way and let something far greater than me, reveal the greater picture.

And that leads me back to what I did that morning of worry.  I said to myself, I could care less, took a deep breath and imagined myself as if I was a camera with my focus up as close as it could possibly be.  Then I brought the focus back, back, back, as far as it could get.  Here, I could breathe even easier.

Another friend of mine once explained it as looking at a beautiful quilt hanging on a wall. Walk up to it and press your nose into one tiny square of that quilt, the beauty is lost in a blur, your nose hurts and you can’t breathe very well either :). Step back several feet and you can see the entire image of that tapestry we call life, clearly.

That tapestry is what’s mine and mine alone to live and experience. It’s as unique as my fingerprint and it has my fingerprints all over it. And something else is all over it, the hands of Divine Wisdom, carrying me every step of the way, even when I think I’m the only one with my hands on the levers of life.

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What You Are

Grace

is

present,

because

Grace

is

another

name

for

what

you

are.

~Mooji~

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“The energy of the Universe
cascades through you like a river,
bringing new flows of happiness and love…”

~Kelly Howell~
Living Prayers

 

Know that you walk a sacred path, welcome yourself as if you invited your most treasured, precious loved one on this journey.  This treasured friend is you.  You are fully supported by Divine Love and carried through life in ways that no mortal could ever provide.  Warmth and comfort permeates your entire being.  So much has come before you to prepare this moment just for you.  Rest here, know how deeply you are nurtured, supported, cared for and loved.  It’s there for you to tap into for all of time.  This is the fortune, the gifts bestowed upon all of us.  Our only job is to softly open and receive.

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And in the end…

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Image Locale

in your laughter and your tears

I Am there

this shining dream you are having

I Am there

certain your failure is immense

I Am there

tangled in sheets of half sleep

I Am there

feeling trapped and frightened

I Am there

your sun goes down slowly

wondering, was I enough?

life disentangles from the flesh and pools around your feet

the streets hold nothing for you now

a final languid breath

your earth grows quiet

a turn of the page

Remember this:

I Am there

©heartsdeesire

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I’ve learned through many a New Age modality that where we place our focus is not just relevant but it also has a creative aspect in our lives.  Yet when I’ve found myself down the rabbit hole, it often feels like a spiral quite difficult to remove myself from.  There’s lots of reasons for this, part habitual but also there’s a whole range of neuro-chemicals that flood the brain once we attach ourselves to a series of thoughts and its attendant feelings.  This is one of the reasons why it can be difficult to get out of a cycle of fear, anxiety, depression, guilt, etc.

A former mentor of mine was quite gifted at what he dubbed “the alarm clock” method.  It’s a question you ask someone who is suffering in unwanted thoughts and feelings.  The question is designed to wake someone up out of the cycle of emotional pain.  The question, however, is unique to each individual’s experience.  But recently a friend of mine reminded me about self-inquiry that can also replicate this alarm clock method, so I can wake myself up.  She shared a process from Mooji; his videos can be found on youtube.  The question to ask yourself is: “who says this, who is witnessing this?”, “who is witnessing the witness?”.

I decided to try that process on.  I went to the eye doctor for a corneal abrasion I currently have.  I am loathe to have someone messing with my eyeball.  Pelvic exams, no problem but mess with my eyeball and instant fear ensues.  So, I’m in the chair at the doctor’s office, having my eye examined.  I can feel that I am holding my breath and tensing my muscles.  My first response was to tell myself to breathe and relax my muscles.  I call that the band-aid approach.

But, wait, I just learned a new tool!   I asked myself – who is having this experience?  Boom, the alarm clock went off and the whole process shifted.  Neuro-chemicals dissipated, my body relaxed and I began to breathe freely on my own.  All it took was a moment of choice which allowed me to step out of the immersed, trance-inducing state of mind.

I’ve repeated this question many times since – who is having this experience?  It’s worked every time.  I’ve also used it while suspended in a moment of pure joy and let me tell you, that just sent wave upon wave of goosebumps through me.  Talk about milking and savoring the moment!

Consider trying the question on yourself.  I’d love to hear how it went for you.  Also, if you have a favorite alarm clock method, please do share that, too.

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