Archive for March 20th, 2011

I took a short little jaunt, this past week, in search of the sun.  The moment I got off the plane I thought: what are you doing here, Bethie?  You left your whole family at home just to catch some sun rays.  Guilt.  Now the question was, would I fully succumb to guilt taking the wheel and allow it to ruin my trip or would I let myself have this time and fully enjoy it.

So, I arrive at my destination.  I then leave my purse in the car with my driver.  Next, I check into the hotel and I leave my carry on and coat in the lobby.  All things I never do.  My former mentor termed events like these: dreamwalking.  He said they were love notes from the Field.  This all felt very dreamwalky, as if there was an inherent message — leave the emotional baggage behind, you won”t be needing it here or anywhere.

During my stay here a friend of mine, Holly S., posted a message on our little women’s internet group.  It spoke to me of recognizing my inner Godness, who I am as a Source-filled being.  I took it to heart and began looking through the filter of my Godself from there forward.

So I and my Godself bought homemade baubles from the lady with her blanket stretched out by the seashore.  Her prices were ridiculously low.  She basically would take whatever you could afford.  I gave her several dollars more than she asked for and she had the hardest time receiving it.  Kept trying to give me something more or tell me she’d bring me change tomorrow.  Finally she relented and let herself receive it.  Later I was walking by an outdoor coffee stand, a voice called out to me, it was her and she thanked me again and blessed me.

I saw that she was all of me, the one who receives and the one who has to be convinced to receive and the one who isn’t always willing to receive. And the one who leaves her essentials behind, as in purse and carry on so she can re-learn what is really essential in her world.

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