I begged my husband, please let me read you this poem, it means so much to me (appended below). He says he doesn’t like poetry unless it’s one of my poems. Sweet. He relents, I begin to read him this poem and am not half way through it before I’m crying. It’s one of those poems where I wondered — did the author go inside my heart and read what was written there?
How did he know I’ve been afraid? How did he know I thought I’d dump every idea of exploring consciousness and life? I tried to convince myself, I’m older now, I don’t need to make the grand experiments anymore. Maybe I don’t even care anymore. Maybe I’ll never care again. Maybe this small, safe place is where I belong.
I thought, if I don’t make big, bold footprints in the world, I won’t be noticed. Big, scary things won’t happen to me then. You see, if I’m not noticed, I can’t be hurt. I’ll just go over here and carve out this small, quiet space and I’ll be protected.
I didn’t decide all at once that I can’t live happily like that. I didn’t exactly turn a corner all at once either. I tiptoed up to it, peeked around the corner and retreated. Then I’d do it again and again and again. Until one day I could say, I invite my true sense of adventure and exploration back in. I invite Life back in again.
I turned the corner because I am a devotee of expansion more than I am a devotee of fear. This is the path of my heart and soul. I choose to follow it now. Again.
* * *
For A New Beginning
In out-of-the-way places of the heart,
Where your thoughts never think to wander,
This beginning has been quietly forming,
Waiting until you were ready to emerge.
For a long time it has watched your desire,
Feeling the emptiness growing inside you,
Noticing how you willed yourself on,
Still unable to leave what you had outgrown.
It watched you play with the seduction of safety
And the gray promises that sameness whispered,
Heard the waves of turmoil rise and relent,
Wondered would you always live like this.
Then the delight, when your courage kindled,
And out you stepped onto new ground,
Your eyes young again with energy and dream,
A path of plentitude opening before you.
Though your destination is not yet clear
You can trust the promise of this opening;
Unfurl yourself into the grace of beginning
That is at one with your life’s desire.
Awaken your spirit to adventure;
Hold nothing back, learn to find ease in risk;
Soon you will be home in a new rhythm,
For your soul senses the world that awaits you.
~John O’Donohue~
To Bless the Space Between Us
A Book of Blessings
I loved your post. This is beautiful, thank you for sharing.
Thank you Marilyn. I appreciate your appreciation. :)
This was touching…now I understand why you broke into tears while reading it to your husband.
Cheers!
:) Thanks for visiting Emmanuel. I adore the images on your blog.
This is a beautiful poem and your words even touch me more deeply.
I want to release all the fear too….step into the adventure…take risks with ease….yes, let’s step into this adventure side by side. i love you!
Ahhh Bethie–a beautiful morning start for me! Just had a night where I knew I had to catch up to myself after spending the day with my husband’s cousins whose dear 13 year-old boy just made his transition, a week with my niece who is struggling…it was a day walking in the vast Hunntington gardens with 13 people, some I hadn’t known, some I’ve only met once many years ago, all on their paths to comprehending a bigger picture..Someone said this boy was a powerful teacher…and I thought about how the opportunity to expand is never-ending…always there, surprising, beckoning, sometimes gently whispering us on and sometimes patiently waiting and sometimes waking us in the night…
From one “devotee of expansion” to another (love that!)
Oh and this…
“I tried to convince myself, I’m older now, I don’t need to make the grand experiments anymore. Maybe I don’t even care anymore. Maybe I’ll never care again. Maybe this small, safe place is where I belong.”
If if sometimes from the sheer fatigue of separation of self..this really speaks to me…thank you.
Love,
Laurie
Those words above the poem are there because of your influence, Amy. We are side by side, heart to heart. I love you, too!
Bless you Laurie. And I love this that you wrote:
“…and I thought about how the opportunity to expand is never-ending…always there, surprising, beckoning, sometimes gently whispering us on and sometimes patiently waiting and sometimes waking us in the night…”
I’ve been taught sometimes the Field turns left to go right. Sometimes in the rush of that oppportunity to expand, I don’t always want to hear that. But it never, ever fails to show me it’s true.
Love, hugs & blessings,
Beth
heartfelt words.
you write with your mind and heart in it…
love your style!
;)
Thank you so much Jingle. “heartfelt words” feels like you really get me and my style because I am all about coming from the heart. :)
I share you the tears.. I long for new beginnings as well..
Great post and good luck.
Thank you so much “nanno1982”. I took a wonderful retreat these last 5 days and it’s helped me so much to get me back on my path. It was just wonderful. Will blog about it soon.
Louise Hay was at this retreat of less than two dozen people. I was like, OMG!! :)))