Archive for May 25th, 2010

Image by Bethie

Well let’s see what Bethie is going to get at the store today.  Hmmm, bread and milk plus discount herself and play small.  What?  What crazy, mixed up kind of a shopping list is this?

Let me explain.  It all started with the 30 day blessing challenge.  I loved affirming “I am so blessed” but was choking on “I am a blessing to the world”.  Well not exactly choking but it didn’t have a wholehearted ring of truth to it.  I could easily say “We are all a blessing to the world” but single myself out, nuh uh, I wasn’t buying it.

I had a talk with myself about that and while I wasn’t exactly willing to accept that I am a blessing to the world, I was willing to suspend judgment about it.  I wondered what would it look like if I played the role of someone who had the confidence to say whatever she wanted to say about herself.   I decided then to try on some of these roles, different identities.  Try them on for size.  I would ask myself which clothes would this identity wear, how would she walk, how would she talk, would she emphasize certain words over others, would her voice be louder or softer?  How would she interact with her children, her pets, others?  I even put different music on to reflect this new identity I was trying on.

Later it hit me, I am always playing a role whether I’m conscious of it or not.  In the consciousness as cause model, the Field responds/corresponds to whatever role I am modeling at the moment.  The Field is pure receptivity, it only says yes.  Part and parcel of the Field’s yes is to bring me situations and people that will reflect what’s on my list.  This explains what Anais Nin has said, that life doesn’t happen to us but *through* us, as it corresponds or says yes to whoever we are being and what we believe about ourselves and the world around us.

Next I began to think of life in terms of a shopping list.  Every day I make out a shopping list for the Field by way of who I choose to be that day, the role I choose to model.  What is choking on the words, I am a blessing to the world, but discounting myself and playing small?  So to graphically illustrate that, I made the shopping list you see in the above image.  Milk and bread, discount myself and play small.  And the Field goes out and brings me back the goods on my list because it only knows YES.  Ok, I’ve got all the milk and bread I need but I’ve decided I don’t want the rest of those goods anymore!

Wow, I have to tell you this little shopping list insight was such an eye opener for me.  It put it in very concrete terms so that I really got it on a visceral level that this is what I’m doing.  I was gobsmacked to say the least.  It really makes me take pause what I want to put on my shopping list.  The Field is all ears and eyes and saying yes to it all.  There is no time off from consciousness.  Is turning down the volume on my muchness really what I want to order?

How about all that other stuff that can make its way on any list: too fat, not good enough, too much work that I “have to” do, tired, stressed, scarcity and lack, and so on.  Is that what any of us really want to order today or any day?

And yet, nothing changes if nothing changes.  It’s not enough to change my shopping list, I have to be that change and the Field then says yes to that.

So I’m back to the drawing board of who do I want to be today.  What role shall I try on today and ever mindful that whatever it is I am essentially placing my order for exactly that.  And remembering one more thing, that Life is my playground.   Ground in which to play, mix it up, build castles, tear them down and start all over again.  I get to play dress up and try on new roles, listen to music I wouldn’t normally put on, play with new ways of talking and walking and relating to others.

As long as it’s lighthearted and playful, count me in.  Ah, well then, that’s today’s shopping list.  I’m ordering lighthearted and playful.  And the Field says: yes, your majesty.  Well, my Field says that.  How about you?  What’s on your shopping list today?

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