I’ve gone back to finding my religion again, loosely translated that means I am believing something about my precious oldest daughter that is painful for me to believe. Lately, every day I pick up ACIM and let a page fall open and speak to me. Today it opened to Lesson 54. All ACIM quotes will appear in bold, the remainder will be my comments.
I have no neutral thoughts.
Neutral thoughts are impossible because all thoughts have power. They will either make a false world or lead me to the real one.
Believing in my daughter’s condition is a false world. It’s a world in which I believe she is not whole. It’s a world of separation both by my belief in the condition and by my suffering with these thoughts about it.
I see no neutral things.
Let me look on the world I see as the representation of my own state of mind.
Let me remember that the world I currently see represents my departure from the real world where I let my fears take hold and make manifest this false world.
I am not alone in experiencing the effects of my seeing.
I am not alone in experiencing the effects of my thoughts.
I am alone in nothing.
What a relief.
I am determined to see.
I would behold the proof that what has been done through me has enabled love to replace fear, laughter to replace tears, and abundance to replace loss. I would look upon the real world, and let it teach me that my will and the will of God are one.
Ok, I have one bone to pick here. “I am determined”, sounds too willful and efforting to me. I change it to: I surrender so that the real world may be revealed to me. I surrender so that I might know where I thought there was darkness, there is light, where I thought there was pain, there is healing, where I thought there was something to fear, there is something to love, where I thought there was something missing, I find wholeness.
I surrender to remembering I don’t have the resources to see the bigger picture. I surrender to remembering resting in the peace and stillness of God is worth more than any niggling fear could ever reap. I surrender to make room for every little miracle to take the place of my false perceptions. I surrender. Again.
