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Archive for March 14th, 2010

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Continuing along the lines of my last post, Becoming, yesterday the word was Love.  So the hand on the heart pledge to myself was because I am not afraid, I will step into my greatness, I will step into all that I really am and I will experience my Love.  I will bring this Love to all that I do today.  If faced with a challenging situation, I will ask:
What would Love bring to this situation?
I noted it didn’t have to be a challenging situation, it could just be an unwanted thought.  Yesterday I had a scary thought, so I asked what would Love bring to this thought?  Scary thought went poof into the ethers because I was no longer giving any thought to it.
Today the word is wisdom.  In the shower today, I had another scary thought.  Now wisdom really requires me to step up my game here so to speak, because we are talking about identity here.  What am I giving the “I am” to?  Wisdom asked: what was I giving myself to in the scary thought?  The I am, the identity statement was I am not a good enough Mom which is really long hand for “bad Mom”.  First of all, wisdom said: does a “bad” Mom worry about whether she is good enough?  Hmmm, I don’t think so.  But let’s grant the belief anyway, even if it is making less sense by the second.  Wisdom said, Be Still and let yourself be open to receiving the knowledge that you are a loving, caring, good Mom.  And in the shower, I was “flooded” – how appropriate, eh? for being in the shower – with memories and images of all the Kodak moments of me as a wonderful Mom and all the accompanying feelings that go with wonderful, loving, caring, and present Mom.
Wisdom said: it’s up to you now which Mom you want to give yourself to.  You get to be on your side, you also get to be not on your side.  It’s your call.  Yes, it is always my call.  And today it’s a no brainer, of course I’m on my side.  But I’ve had my moments where it wasn’t a no brainer, I went with being not on my side.  Those are the moments I will now bring surrender to.  When I can’t do it by myself, I call to Something greater than me.  I don’t know what that Something is but I know it’s there and I know it’s benevolent and I know it’s on my side.  Surrender itself is being on my side, too.  Anyway I can get there, that’s where I point my compass.
Thank you wisdom or as Alanis Morissette would say: thank you clarity, thank you silence.

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