Ok, all you Eat, Pray, Lovers out there. Get your book out and turn to page 149. This is where Richard, the Texas yogi is telling ‘Groceries’ what a true soul mate is. I’m gonna quote some of it below, but keep reading a few more pages cuz it’s pee your pants funny. Especially when Richard tells Groceries she’s a control freak – her reaction: priceless!
…A true soul mate is a mirror, the person who shows you
everything that’s holding you back, the person who brings you to your own
attention so you can change your life. A true soul mate is probably the most
important person you’ll ever meet, because they tear down your walls and
smack you awake. But to live with a soul mate forever. Nah. Too painful.
Soul mates, they come into your life just to reveal another layer of yourself
to you, and then they leave. And thank God for it.
(excerpted from Eat Pray Love by Elizabeth Gilbert)
Oh, and the dog and the empty tin can part – also priceless!
If you don’t have the book, drop everything and go get it! I’d loan you my
copy but as you can see I’m still reading it. Yes, I know I started reading it
weeks ago. But I’m savoring it. My favorite thing is to savor. Yup, that’s my
story and I’m stickin’ to it.
Love all, Bethie
A woman told me about this book and it was so sad that she she believed that a person who comes into your life to help you grow is not someone you would want to live with because she read it in that book without reading the author’s resentment and resistance to change in between the lines. What the author fails to tell people is that a true soulmate is not a fool, but a very wise being who will walk away when you refuse to change your ways.
I never read this book, but it is sad that people think that real love means the happy fairy tale, but got to tell people what they want to hear to sell books I guess. No wonder the divorce rate is over 50% and number of single people is the highest it has ever been. If it involves work and suffering, it can’t possibly be love?
These days values, morals, and discipline is everything that’s bad for you because happiness is all about feeling good and doing what you want.
Glad you posted this Beth.
Mayra,
You said it yourself, you haven’t read the book. It’s not a fairy tale, it’s a story about a woman on a truth seeking journey. So stop making judgments on the book based on what your friend got out of it. People read things and interpret things in different ways. That quote about soulmates isn’t even from the author, it’s from someone she met along the way.
On a recent Abraham CD, they talked about soulmates. They said, and I am paraphrasing here, that those people in your life who drive you crazy are your soulmates. They are the ones you agreed to come forth with into physical life for the purpose of provoking each other. You knew that out of that provocation, or contrast, would be born new desire. Abraham says that what trips us up is that instead of focusing on the new desire, we focus on what provoked us. So instead of expanding as human beings to align with our new desire, we get stuck in what we don’t want.
That makes sense to me. If the Universe is all about expansion, because without expansion there is only decay and death, we are here to contribute to expansion by way of our new desires. Floating along in an idyllic bubble, which is a common fantasy about life with a soulmate, does not promote expansion. If everything is perfect, what is there to reach for? So we need those irritating people, just as an oyster needs a grain of sand to produce a pearl.
From the Abe perspective, there isn’t just one soulmate, there are many. Parents, siblings, co-workers — anyone and everyone who provokes us into reaching for a new definition of what we want from life — all of them are our soulmates.
So I have decided that I am going to give up on looking for my soulmate. I have apparently already found a lot of them and I don’t want any more. From now on, I am going to look for my One True Ally. An ally is someone who has my back. Someone who will soothe me when the soulmates drive me nuts. My ally will be my buddy and will make me laugh. He’ll help me stop focusing on what provokes me and start focusing on my new desires. Yep, an ally — that’s what I’m looking for.
That’s one of my most favorite part of the book! A lot of people are still looking for fairy-tale soulmate where personal work is not required. But I guess we all have our own timeline in our understanding of things. Revelations don’t come all at once to all people. We each have a path that we follow with our own speed.
While we’re on the subject of EPL, I’d like to say: I now visit Wayan and Ketut whenever I’m in Bali for summer and bring friends to meet them.
Thank you for this! I was looking for this subsection in English (I am reading the Dutch translation).
I am also looking for this one: #43, first thing Richard says? I bet that one’s hilarious too.
Oh maybe I should buy an English copy too, I just adore this book, it’s the second time I’m reading it, the first time was exactly one year ago and it’s still my favorite.
I really hated this quote, because I know someone exactly like this. As in, my soulmate. And I want to be with him – I don’t just want to take what he’s shown me about me and keep walking!
I wonder if Elizabeth Gilbert considers her and the Brazilian guy to be soulmates. When you have an amazing connection with someone, is it enough to just call them your soulmate and move on? It SEEMS like it isn’t practical to be with a soulmate because they leave you room for improvement and growth with someone else. You can’t live with a soulmate. You can’t love a soulmate your entire life as your significant other because… you’d drive each other crazy?
Thoughts?
Hi “N”, I posted this nearly 3 years ago and it amazes me that it continues to be the one post that garners the most hits on my blog. It seems to speak to many people for a variety of reasons.
What I think is really irrelevant. And in true irreverent style, I never even finished the book. :) Blessings, Beth
I just came across this post because of the movie and I see I posted a comment in 08. I still have not read the book, but the quote has impacted people’s view of love and soulmates in a negative way. Love is really tough work and like everything else it is both painful and joyful no matter who you’re with. If you are lucky enough to meet your soulmate in this lifetime consider yourself a very lucky person. A soulmate comes into your life to teach you to love yourself and be the best thing you can possibly be. In order for that to happen you need to make changes that aren’t pleasant. You will go through a transformation that only love can help you get through. You are both going to go through it. This process takes years and there is no guarantee that you’ll end up together because you both have free will. However, if you both recognize each other and choose to get through it all, this can be the best relationship you’ll ever had.
However, don’t take anybody’s word for what love should be to you. We’re all here to figure it out for ourselves. Everybody is just sharing their experience. Yours could be entirely different.
Welcome back Mayra, long time no see :). I don’t think this excerpt from the book was in the movie. I just saw it yesterday and was looking for it but unless I was off in la-la land, which is entirely possible with me, it wasn’t in the movie.
I’ve always liked a 12 step slogan and think it’s a good rule of thumb as I go the way of life: take what you like and leave the rest.
Thank you for the greetings! No this wasn’t in the movie, but because the movie is out, it is being blogged and I’ve come across it a few times now, which prompted me to say something. I like your approach except that when it comes to soulmates we need to aim for a relationship where we can live with both what we like and don’t like. We’re all so imperfect. I believe the perfect combination is out there for everyone. I would like for people to have faith in their feelings and trust that they do know what is best for them. But most importantly to not be afraid to find the answers they seek.
I finally got Eat Pray and Love and started to read it but was not compelled to continue with it. I was shocked by the fact that the book begins by the author being in such a state of desperation after being married, having it all, not wanting to have children and not being able to have the conversation with her husband. How can one be married to someone one can’t discuss true inner most feelings and desires. The author also mentions having been the one making it happen sort of speak in the financial department and feeling she could no longer bear the burden. After I got to the part where she goes to Italy and is looking for “love” so soon I couldn’t go any further.
Someone told me that the soulmate quote was told to the author by someone. It wasn’t something she said. However, I can’t confirm since I didn’t read the book.
Great to see you evolve so much from your first post in 2008. You were born to do this. Your social media accounts are just beautiful, and filled with hope, magic and inspiration.
Great blog Beth !
That comment was meant for Mayra One Writer/MayraMejiaMSc ! I just came across this post on Twitter.
It started out so optimisticly! Didn’t think it would end with the soulmate leaving lol. I definitely agree with the value or people showing you what your limits are – but I think the true purpose of soul mates is to help each other grow past any limitations and improve each others lives… and enjoy the journey on the way!
Looking forward to savoring the book too :)
Amber, what to say to get your ex back
@Marie.
I really liked what you said about soulmates. There was something so grounded and heart centered about it that resonated with me. Esp. this part:
….”So I have decided that I am going to give up on looking for my soulmate. I have apparently already found a lot of them and I don’t want any more. From now on, I am going to look for my One True Ally. An ally is someone who has my back. Someone who will soothe me when the soulmates drive me nuts. My ally will be my buddy and will make me laugh. He’ll help me stop focusing on what provokes me and start focusing on my new desires. Yep, an ally — that’s what I’m looking for.”….
YES YES YES!!! That’s exactly what I want too. An ally. A partner who truly believes in me where we can grow TOGETHER :)
I have felt like soulmates are those you can just relax around, be oneself and be seen, fully and completely and know that you are safe, that you are loved for you even if they challenge you to grow along the way. This idea that a soulmate is someone who helps provoke you to grow, being an irritant seems almost counter-intuitive and doesn’t entirely gel with me but I know everyone will have their own interpretation of that concept. It doesn’t mean your soulmate won’t challenge you on your shit(with love), that’s necessary for further growth. But JUST to do that and leave, the word soulmate is too big, grandiose for such a fleeting, albeit important transformative interaction.
Perhaps this idea what people are describing as a soulmate, is rather a teacher. The idea that someone will come into your life for however long and illicit change, provoke thought, call you on your shit to help you grow-
This may not be the soulmate of love but rather, a sage or teacher…there to guide you further on your journey of self-discovery. That makes more sense to me having connected with a few soulmates in my life. But maybe there are romantic soulmates and journey soulmates. I think these concepts are getting mixed together when really, soulmate and teacher can exist in one but they don’t have to be the same thing.
I’ve had enough people challenge me to grow, change, alter myself, think deeper etc etc..and I’ve done the same for others. I wouldn’t consider all of them soulmates. When I find people who just get me and love me for it and there is immediate love between us, there is an instant peace that comes. What happens is I become more ME. Unfettered by the garbage of the mind. I unfold further. Like I can finally cast off the cloaks of fear I hide under to protect those softer places in me and just be. And this is revelatory, cathartic. A huge sigh comes over me like wow…finally. I can just be me, unafraid.
Perhaps….a soulmate is a bit of both, an ally and a teacher. :)
Wonderful
Great to read all of these interesting comments. I love and believe in the below as well except that to me an Ally is a soulmate who connects at the mental, physical, and spiritual level.
: ”So I have decided that I am going to give up on looking for my soulmate. I have apparently already found a lot of them and I don’t want any more. From now on, I am going to look for my One True Ally. An ally is someone who has my back. Someone who will soothe me when the soulmates drive me nuts. My ally will be my buddy and will make me laugh. He’ll help me stop focusing on what provokes me and start focusing on my new desires. Yep, an ally — that’s what I’m looking for.”….
Nothing worth having in life comes easy not even a soulmate. Life is a trial of both great and tough experiences. We can’t grow or become better without the tribulations made to make us stronger. When we are connected to someone at all levels we are able to take each other through and through and as a result the bond becomes stronger. You love each other more because of what you’ve been through. The feeling is mutual and not one sided.
Two things strike me as I read about the comments regarding “one true ally”. First, that this ally is who you really are, in your purest form, or what Abraham would call your Inner Being. And secondly, that it’s a description of Source, God, whatever you want to call it. I have written here many times that the Universe has our back. It is what is breathing us right now.
That’s an interesting perspective Beth. I believe that if we learn to trust our inner guidance or intuition we will be lead to the perfect partner for us in this lifetime. However as great as this partner may be he will like we do have flaws of his own, and there will be times when the relationship will be tested but because of the strong bond all will be well because both persons have the innate chemistry to bring out the best qualities out of each other.
I haven’t read the book just a big fan of the movie. I even mention it on my About page. I agree what was said in the quote, One day I will too savor the book.
I have come to this blog randomly searching for the quote mentioned on the post. And after reading almost all the comments, and actually agreeing to most of them (as I am myself trying to figure out how to interpret this quote about soulmates)… I just have a question or doubt, I would like to share and know what you think about it… basically, if according to this quote.. a soulmate is someone thats meant to change our life but then leave, because is too painful to live with that person for a lifetime… what happens to the next person that comes in our life? I mean, it also says…”A soul mates purpose is to shake you up, tear apart your ego a little bit, show you your obstacles and addictions, break your heart open so new light can get in,” … so the new light that comes in, as in the new person.. won’t that person be a soulmate too? I mean, do all soulmates have to leave us? can’t a relationship with a soulmate last for a lifetime? ….
to be honest, I agree with the quote because I do think I already met one of my soulmates (romantically speaking) and hes not part of my life anymore… but I do not wanna believe the next one to come, being my soulmate.. will have to leave too, I wanna believe I can actually spend the rest of my life, or at least a long part of it with my new soulmate! thoughts?
My opinion doesn’t matter, nor anyone else’s, including Elizabeth Gilbert. You can have it any way you want it.
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