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Archive for May, 2007

~I remember when we first moved to Texas, it was supposed to be
Austin, Texas-hill country, the Boulder of Texas. Last minute change
and woops nope you are moving to Dallas. I said I would rather die than
move to Dallas so I was dragged kicking and screaming to Dallas. And
you know I hated it at first, then I made a commitment to listening to
Abe tapes every day. It was do or die cuz I’m a nature girl, gimme the
mountains, gimme the trees, oh how I love trees, and most ideal gimme
where the mountains meet the ocean. Nowhere to be found in Dallas. The
grass was greener EVERYWHERE but Dallas.

But wait, I was listening to Abe every day. They were talking
about appreciation. I’m really good at appreciating when I get tuned
into it I can get on a roll with it. And that’s what I did. Those
concrete strip malls that abounded in Dallas suddenly became more
choices opening to me. Want dinner out, stand at this strip mall on
this corner and choose from among about 4 different countries to sample
their food. And the people, you want to know nice people, go to Dallas.
The skyline at night, nothing like it. On and on, it went. Till I came
to love the place I said I would rather die than move to. I even found
trees, I even found hiking and I found wildflowers everywere, thank you
Lady Bird Johnson.

What I found most of all, is the grass is just as green, right
where I am because I MADE IT SO! Abraham didn’t talk about it at the
time, but I made peace with where I was. I still did a focus wheel here
and there with my mountains meeting the ocean, I had a beautiful hiking
trail on my desktop (still do). But I was happy now right where I was.

One day my husband lost his job, first time he lost a job since
he was in the third grade then delivering newspapers. Together we vibed
and lifted us into a new job… it involved moving away…. Where the
mountains meet the ocean and it’s a Kodak moment even if you don’t go
hiking. But of all the places I’ve lived including the most beautiful
Colorado, if I had to go back anywhere it would be Dallas because I made
the grass there greener than anywhere else. I have the power…so do
you!

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I read this short story the other day:

A Native American grandfather was talking to his grandson about how he
felt.

He said, “I feel as if I have two wolves fighting in my heart.
One wolf is the vengeful, angry, violent one. The other wolf is the
loving, compassionate one.”

The grandson asked him, “Which wolf will win the fight in your heart?”

The grandfather answered: “The one I feed.”

The one I feed, indeed!  I have two wolves in my heart, too. One that is kind and loving and one
that judges me. This is not unlike Abe’s reaching for the better
feeling thought. But I put a little different spin on it and I call it
feeding the Lover. So with this thought I am thinking: I don’t know why
this isn’t working for me, there are lots of people that say it worked
for them…. who am I feeding? The one who judges or the Lover. Who
do I want to feed? Who cares about me more than anything? Who has the
capacity to love me, to comfort me more than anyone? I do.

It’s a good reminder, with this thought I am thinking, who am I feeding right now?  I choose Lover.  Who do you choose to feed today?

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