Occasionally I pop in and watch Oprah’s Life Class, which is now on the OWN channel.  Several seeks ago she did one on forgiveness.  I watched it twice and then took copious notes the second time (this is not a verbatim transcription).  I am going to type those out here.

Forgiveness is such a big topic; really who among us has no forgiveness work left to do?  So, the material may flow a little, may not be as linear as you may want but I’m sure everyone can cull something useful from it.  I may insert my own comments.

Forgiveness really means letting go of the past, of our perception that we need to hold a grievance for the rest of our lives.  If we hold onto our grievances we will never really be happy.  It’s really a willingness to see the person in the light of love rather than in the action that happened.  It means letting go of the past that we thought we wanted.  We can’t really change that past so it means releasing the negative perception of it and coming back to the present.

Me talking here: I think when they speak of holding the other in the “light of love” it’s seeing them as who they really were and are meant to be.  Not the sideways kick you got in the gut from them, but the person who plopped down to earth with all good intentions, full of delight and curiosity and a reverence for even the smallest things.  A child could spend a moment with a marble and convince you they’ve found God in it.  Seeing that person in the light of love.  Sometimes it even helps to have a young picture of them, actual or in your mind.  When you gaze on that face you see nothing but beauty, good intention, love and connectedness.  As in the lyrics to a song: see me beautiful, it’s all I really am, and all I want to be.

Now Oprah speaking:

Forgiveness is giving up the hope that the past could be different.  I think for many of you, you think forgiveness means accepting what has happened to you. Well, it is accepting that it HAS happened to you, not accepting that it was OK for it to happen.  It is accepting that it has happened to you and now what do I do about it?  Again, forgiving is giving up the hope, not holding on, hoping, wishing, that it could have been any other way than it actually was, giving up the hope that the past be any different.  And when I got that, I think it took me to the next level of being a better person because I don’t hold grudges for anything or any situation.  It’s letting go so that the past does not hold you prisoner, does not hold you hostage.

And here’s Terri McMillian (famous writer/Oprah guest)

Here’s Terri M. now – saying she lost 100 pounds emotionally when she decided to give up suing her ex.  She said – when I called my ex and told him he was free, I was free at that moment.  Anger and bitterness is an emotional termite.  You can’t let anything in.  I had to let all of this go in order to be happy.  At the end of the show Oprah describes what Terri M. told her on the phone.  She was sitting in the car and she had been feeling this angst, this rage, this anger and there was a moment where she let the car window down and she could actually feel the presence of the anger as an energy field leaving her body and leaving the car.  Terri said the truth is, that was God at work.

Oprah describing a funny moment: she used to hold grudges.  She sees someone she was holding a grudge against going into Tiffany’s on Michigan Avenue AND laughing and she’s like, I can’t believe she’s all happy, not even is she laughing, but she’s going into the Tiffany store while laughing.  That was a huge aha, enlightening moment for me, I’ve used it to apply to everything else in my life, not to hold onto grudges, not to hold onto what somebody did tell you, not to hold onto what your Momma should have done, not to hold onto to what you shoulda, coulda, woulda been but to live in the present moment.  Letting go of what has happened to you and BEING ABLE TO LIVE RIGHT NOW WITH WHAT IS HAPPENING TO YOU MAKE A DECISION FOR RIGHT NOW AND MOVE FORWARD IS HOW YOU ACCESS THE POWER THAT WE ALL HAVE WITHIN US.

Letting go of anger, releasing anger allows beauty to come back into your life.

Next a woman who didn’t speak to her (habitually angry) father for 8 years who she described as toxic and bringing no good to her life.  She says forgiveness is a gift you give to yourself.  After 8 years, she gave up that little pocket of hate and she was complete.  Forgiveness was a gift to herself, as well as her children. Oprah responded: the truth is you don’t forgive for the other person.  That’s what holds so many people in the space of unforgiveness because you think I have got to now do this for you.  You forgive for yourself.

Forgiving is letting go of the hope that it could have been any different.

Accepting it for what it was

And be willing to move forward with your own life, and that’s the only life you have control over.

And that is the great lesson of letting go of the past

Letting go of the anger so you can be free

Letting go of the anger so you can get the mud out of your wings

Letting go of the anger so that you can accept the power that is within you

And allow that power to move you forward

Me again…I love that description of letting go so you can get the mud out of your wings.  Whatever we hold onto is like an energetic sludge weighing us down.  Just the mere idea of letting it go makes me feel lighter.

Forgiveness is really up for me this year.  I begin with self-forgiveness.  In another modality I study Feng Shui astrology aka 9 star ki astrology, I am in the energy of yang wood for the year.  Wood has much strength, as well, it has a backside and that is its challenges.  Self-judgment is one of my challenges. I like to spend each year now of my life returning to my roots a little less encumbered, releasing anything that slows me down.

For me, trees have always been the most penetrating preachers. I revere them when they live in tribes and families, in forests and groves. And even more I revere them when they stand alone. They are like lonely persons. Not like hermits who have stolen away out of some weakness, but like great, solitary men, like Beethoven and Nietzsche. In their highest boughs the world rustles, their roots rest in infinity; but they do not lose themselves there, they struggle with all the force of their lives for one thing only: to fulfil themselves according to their own laws, to build up their own form, to represent themselves. Nothing is holier, nothing is more exemplary than a beautiful, strong tree. When a tree is cut down and reveals its naked death-wound to the sun, one can read its whole history in the luminous, inscribed disk of its trunk: in the rings of its years, its scars, all the struggle, all the suffering, all the sickness, all the happiness and prosperity stand truly written, the narrow years and the luxurious years, the attacks withstood, the storms endured. And every young farmboy knows that the hardest and noblest wood has the narrowest rings, that high on the mountains and in continuing danger the most indestructible, the strongest, the ideal trees grow.

Trees are sanctuaries. Whoever knows how to speak to them, whoever knows how to listen to them, can learn the truth. They do not preach learning and precepts, they preach, undeterred by particulars, the ancient law of life.

A tree says: A kernel is hidden in me, a spark, a thought, I am life from eternal life. The attempt and the risk that the eternal mother took with me is unique, unique the form and veins of my skin, unique the smallest play of leaves in my branches and the smallest scar on my bark. I was made to form and reveal the eternal in my smallest special detail.

A tree says: My strength is trust. I know nothing about my fathers, I know nothing about the thousand children that every year spring out of me. I live out the secret of my seed to the very end, and I care for nothing else. I trust that God is in me. I trust that my labor is holy. Out of this trust I live.

When we are stricken and cannot bear our lives any longer, then a tree has something to say to us: Be still! Be still! Look at me! Life is not easy, life is not difficult. Those are childish thoughts. Let God speak within you, and your thoughts will grow silent. You are anxious because your path leads away from mother and home. But every step and every day lead you back again to the mother. Home is neither here nor there. Home is within you, or home is nowhere at all.

A longing to wander tears my heart when I hear trees rustling in the wind at evening. If one listens to them silently for a long time, this longing reveals its kernel, its meaning. It is not so much a matter of escaping from one’s suffering, though it may seem to be so. It is a longing for home, for a memory of the mother, for new metaphors for life. It leads home. Every path leads homeward, every step is birth, every step is death, every grave is mother.

So the tree rustles in the evening, when we stand uneasy before our own childish thoughts: Trees have long thoughts, long-breathing and restful, just as they have longer lives than ours. They are wiser than we are, as long as we do not listen to them. But when we have learned how to listen to trees, then the brevity and the quickness and the childlike hastiness of our thoughts achieve an incomparable joy. Whoever has learned how to listen to trees no longer wants to be a tree. He wants to be nothing except what he is. That is home. That is happiness.  ~Herman Hesse

My thanks to Amy Callan at Spirit Within Art for sharing this quote with me.

I planned on playing the song at the burial site.  However, in my mildly hungover state, I’d forgotten it.  And, “mild” is putting it lightly.  I had been to my Mom’s viewing the night before and was literally drowning my sorrows that night.  I don’t like viewings and haven’t been to one since.  So if you are having a viewing and you’re a friend of mine, know that I won’t be there!

My husband of the decade (that’s a whole ‘nuther blog) ran and got the music for us.  When we played it, there was not a dry eye to be found among us, including the minister officiating at the burial.  It still brings a tear to hear it again.

In another modality that I study, Chinese Face Reading, you might expect to see the water element present in someone who wrote a song about sailing.  So it’s no surprise to see evidence of that in this video.  Note the large rounded forehead, the strong chin and the soft neck, or what amounts to a “soft” jaw line which just seems to meld into the neck.

So now you, too, know a little about Chinese Face Reading.  Note that the water element is a very wise energy, often very creative.  If you, too, have a strong chin you have some water and you have the will to plow through anything when necessary; you might be a tad stubborn, too.  If you have a rounded forehead, ideas and inspiration just seem to come to you, you don’t know how, it just does.  Depending on your other facial features, you might not be happy in the standard 9-5 clock punching life.  You may be a writer, a dancer, or a musician, to name a few things.

Also of note, if you read the lyrics below, he writes of dreams and fantasy.  Water element directly relates to dreams and fantasy.  There is even a “dreamy” quality about someone who is very watery.  You’ll see it in their eyes and you’ll see it in the way they move through life.  They may take a while in conversation to get to the point, they flow, they do not move in straight, linear lines.  They don’t keep time well either, so if someone arrives late chronically, look for water element.  It’s either in the face or in their birth date, which relates to their 9 star ki.  And that, too, is a whole ‘nuther blog!

I hope you enjoy hearing “Sailing”, be it for the first time or re-visiting it after many years.

Well, it’s not far down to paradise
At least it’s not for me
And if the wind is right you can sail away
Find tranquility
Oh, the canvas can do miracles
Just you wait and see
Believe me

It’s not far to never never land
No reason to pretend
And if the wind is right you can find the joy
Of innocence again
Oh, the canvas can do miracles
Just you wait and see
You’ll believe me

Sailing
Takes me away
To where I’ve always heard it could be
Just a dream and the wind to carry me
And soon I will be free

Fantasy
It gets the best of me
When I’m sailing
All caught up in the reverie
Every word is a symphony
Won’t you believe me

Well, it’s not far back to sanity
At least it’s not for me
And when the wind is right you can sail away
Find serenity
Oh, the canvas can do miracles
Just you wait and see
Then you’ll believe me

Author of the quote: Kevin Knecht

I thought I’d give you all a little introduction into the world of Chinese face reading.  This is what I’m currently studying and taking training in to become a certified practitioner.  It’s an area that I find endlessly fascinating.

The above is an image of a man recently in the news.  He hijacked a Greyhound bus in North Carolina.  To my knowledge, the police are still looking for a motive.  One look at his face and even a novice face reader could tell you this guy didn’t need much of a motive, he was a ticking time bomb.

Notice his eyebrows, now pay particular attention to the left eyebrow.  See how it spikes and arches upwards and significantly so?  This is the mark of an individual who is highly emotionally reactive and impulsive.

It’s a feature you can easily notice about someone.  Someone with this eyebrow pattern and you would want to give careful thought in hiring them for a job.  If this were a potential boss with these eyebrows, think twice about accepting the job.  Potential boyfriend/girlfriend, same thing.  I’m not saying everyone with this eyebrow pattern will hijack a Greyhound bus, I am saying impulsivity and emotional reactivity would be a challenge they confront.

There’s actually a lot that can be learned from a person’s eyebrows.  Someone with eyebrows that are shaped in a straight line, tends to think logically and generally give matters careful consideration before making a decision.  Rounded eyebrows add a little kindness to the person’s interaction with you. Eyebrows close together and this person will be more of an independent individual and won’t need a lot of input from others and won’t necessarily enjoy other’s input either.

Rod Serling, creator of the Twilight Zone, had eyebrows that were close together.  It is said that he pretty well was fed up with politics behind TV and moved on from a very successful show because of said “politics”.

It’s of note also that we live in a world where it’s often said to be male dominated.  The strength of our eyebrows speak to one’s confidence and ability to assert oneself.  Interesting then that many women pluck their eyebrows.  And food for thought, the proverbial question: which came first – the chicken or the egg?

I am currently seeking volunteers in the Seattle and surrounding area for a face read as part of my case studies towards certification.  If you are interested, access me through the “contact me” button in the right hand column, for more information.

Here’s a question from the weekly powerful question:

“How can I demonstrate my gratitude for a part of my body that I have judged as unattractive?”

Now before you even answer it, read this too:

“You may choose, of course, to work with the Question as you see fit. However, you might want to consider reflecting upon the Question without seeking a specific answer too quickly. If an answer is arrived at too soon, the answer is more likely to be based upon what you already know rather than what you might be able to discover over time.

Often times a Question itself can prepare you for something that is larger than you can now imagine or do. It can draw you more deeply into possibilities and the unknown rather than to an answer, particularly if the question is approached from the perspective of “what if” rather than “how.” You might, for example, ask yourself the Question at times when you are feeling emotions, such as fear, joy or sadness, and simply notice what you feel in your body or in your heart when you ask the Question. Then simply move on without attempting to come to an answer.

If you allow a question to maintain its creative tension, you might be surprised at what you discover!”

I love that on two levels, the powerful question and the asking to suspend a propensity to get in there and do something about it, adopt an easy fix, instead to be open to something beyond that first impulse.

If you watched the film What the Bleep Do We Know?!, you saw the main character write love notes on her body in the pivotal bathroom scene.  She wrote on the parts of her she previously saw as revolting.  Then she lay in the tub to soak these messages in.  I did that, too.  My kids, when they were younger, would exclaim to any body who’d listen: Mommy writes on her body. :)

There are parts of my body I’ve looked at and said yuk.  I’ve joked and said in my next life, I’ll come back with no cellulite.  But you know what — in this life all joking aside, I’m done with looking at myself physically, emotionally or otherwise and naming any part of me as bad, wrong, inadequate or not good enough.

These days, I walk a singular path and that’s the path of the heart.  This path only knows how to say yes.  Yes to life, yes to me, yes to love.  It doesn’t matter what word I write on my body or the sky for that matter, what matters most is a kiss of yes on my lips.  Yes to this precious physical vessel I have the privilege of inhabiting.  Yes to all of me.

A single put-down is a tiny insult to the framework of who we are.  Are you done with insults big and small to yourself?  I sure am.  I’m ready to embrace the many ways I now say yes to myself.

Now I’ve heard there was a secret chord
That David played, and it pleased the Lord
But you don’t really care for music, do you?
It goes like this
The fourth, the fifth
The minor fall, the major lift
The baffled king composing Hallelujah
Hallelujah
Hallelujah
Hallelujah
Hallelujah

Your faith was strong but you needed proof
You saw her bathing on the roof
Her beauty and the moonlight overthrew you
She tied you
To a kitchen chair
She broke your throne, and she cut your hair
And from your lips she drew the Hallelujah

Baby I have been here before
I know this room, I’ve walked this floor
I used to live alone before I knew you.
I’ve seen your flag on the marble arch
Love is not a victory march
It’s a cold and it’s a broken Hallelujah

Hallelujah, Hallelujah
Hallelujah, Hallelujah

There was a time you let me know
What’s really going on below
But now you never show it to me, do you?
And remember when I moved in you
The holy dove was moving too
And every breath we drew was Hallelujah

Hallelujah, Hallelujah
Hallelujah, Hallelujah

You say I took the name in vain
I don’t even know the name
But if I did, well really, what’s it to you?
There’s a blaze of light
In every word
It doesn’t matter which you heard
The holy or the broken Hallelujah

Hallelujah, Hallelujah
Hallelujah, Hallelujah

I did my best, it wasn’t much
I couldn’t feel, so I tried to touch
I’ve told the truth, I didn’t come to fool you
And even though
It all went wrong
I’ll stand before the Lord of Song
With nothing on my tongue but Hallelujah

Hallelujah, Hallelujah
Hallelujah, Hallelujah
Hallelujah, Hallelujah
Hallelujah, Hallelujah
Hallelujah, Hallelujah
Hallelujah, Hallelujah
Hallelujah, Hallelujah
Hallelujah, Hallelujah
Hallelujah

~Leonard Cohen~