One of my favorite posts here because it’s a true story of fear that was transformed with a Mother’s love and the Universe’s good grace in very real and tangible ways. If I have a “manifestation” story to tell, when I’m older, this one would be it. I’ve updated it a bit to bring it current with today.
I thought it fitting since we are at the end of the month, to write about beginning at the end. It goes like this: begin at the end and stay there. This is something I learned from studying with The Field Center and the Neville Goddard material, as well. What does it mean? The end that you begin at is to embody the feeling, the sense that you already have whatever it is you were wanting.
Passing through a wrinkle in time, time now collapses in on itself, the veil is pulled back and your heart’s desire has already unfolded. What does it feel like in your heart, your body to know that what you longed for is no longer at arm’s length but it’s here right now? Note what it feels like because this is a feeling you can come back to again and again.
It sounds easy enough, doesn’t it? I never really understood that it took a bit of commitment on my part to actually stay there. That commitment flows out of falling in love with your heart’s desire so that it is no longer a desire, it’s a given. You just know it and no fact that shows up in your now can sway you from this knowing. It’s that kind of faithfulness and commitment that I am referring to.
The one who taught me about committing myself to “staying there” is my son. Those who know me personally, know that I have a special needs son. There were times in the past that his needs seemed to exceed what we could provide for him and for many reasons we thought he might have to live in an environment outside of our home where he could obtain the supports he needed. More than anything, I didn’t want this to happen and I suffered a good bit over it for quite awhile. I wanted a miracle to happen.
One day I felt inspired and made a decision. I would fast forward to the ending that I wanted. He stays here with us throughout his childhood and we have the supports that we need to provide for him. I could see it in my mind’s eye, even though he is still a child today, here he was a young adult. He had grown up and he’d stayed living with us in our home the whole time. I could feel the feelings, the joy and contentment of raising him. No more would I worry, will it happen? It did happen — in my mind’s eye, my heart, my body it happened; I knew it was real and it was the truth. I had peeled back the veil and saw and felt all that I needed to know.
Now my work is only to stay there. By staying there, this means that nothing that happens day to day counts against my happy ending. Why? Because I don’t let it. I don’t let myself come to any conclusions about anything that happens today. I don’t take it seriously and I don’t allow it to have any importance. That’s the commitment of staying there. Only once since I experienced my happy ending have I given myself to a conclusion that counted against that happy ending. On that day, I suffered and I suffered enough to renew my commitment again.
One miracle didn’t happen, many miracles happened over time: capable, highly specialized trained aides in our home, a cutting edge doctor working with my son, a specialty school, spiritual teachers showing up whose guidance has been pivotal, and many supports I was inspired to implement in the home. Now today, I don’t question if my son will remain living with us, I know he will.
Ultimately children, and loved ones become our greatest teachers. What we might not do for ourselves, we will do for them. And what we do for love, we essentially do for ourselves, too. It does not matter what path we take to get to alignment, only that we do get there.
Rumi, of course, said it best:
Close your eyes
Fall in love
There’s a host of happy endings inside each of us, awaiting our whole-hearted consent to join hands and “fall in love” with them.