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Archive for March 21st, 2010

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I’ve gone back to finding my religion again, loosely translated that means I am believing something about my precious oldest daughter that is painful for me to believe.  Lately, every day I pick up ACIM and let a page fall open and speak to me. Today it opened to Lesson 54.  All ACIM quotes will appear in bold, the remainder will be my comments.

I have no neutral thoughts.

Neutral thoughts are impossible because all thoughts have power.  They will either make a false world or lead me to the real one.

Believing in my daughter’s condition is a false world.  It’s a world in which I believe she is not whole.  It’s a world of separation both by my belief in the condition and by my suffering with these thoughts about it.

I see no neutral things.

Let me look on the world I see as the representation of my own state of mind.

Let me remember that the world I currently see represents my departure from the real world where I let my fears take hold and make manifest this false world.

I am not alone in experiencing the effects of my seeing.

I am not alone in experiencing the effects of my thoughts.

I am alone in nothing.

What a relief.

I am determined to see.

I would behold the proof that what has been done through me has enabled love to replace fear, laughter to replace tears, and abundance to replace loss.  I would look upon the real world, and let it teach me that my will and the will of God are one.

Ok, I have one bone to pick here.  “I am determined”, sounds too willful and efforting to me.  I change it to: I surrender so that the real world may be revealed to me.  I surrender so that I might know where I thought there was darkness, there is light, where I thought there was pain, there is healing, where I thought there was something to fear, there is something to love, where I thought there was something missing, I find wholeness.

I surrender to remembering I don’t have the resources to see the bigger picture.  I surrender to remembering resting in the peace and stillness of God is worth more than any niggling fear could ever reap.  I surrender to make room for every little miracle to take the place of my false perceptions.  I surrender.  Again.

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