: ”So I have decided that I am going to give up on looking for my soulmate. I have apparently already found a lot of them and I don’t want any more. From now on, I am going to look for my One True Ally. An ally is someone who has my back. Someone who will soothe me when the soulmates drive me nuts. My ally will be my buddy and will make me laugh. He’ll help me stop focusing on what provokes me and start focusing on my new desires. Yep, an ally — that’s what I’m looking for.”….

Nothing worth having in life comes easy not even a soulmate. Life is a trial of both great and tough experiences. We can’t grow or become better without the tribulations made to make us stronger. When we are connected to someone at all levels we are able to take each other through and through and as a result the bond becomes stronger. You love each other more because of what you’ve been through. The feeling is mutual and not one sided.

I really liked what you said about soulmates. There was something so grounded and heart centered about it that resonated with me. Esp. this part:
….”So I have decided that I am going to give up on looking for my soulmate. I have apparently already found a lot of them and I don’t want any more. From now on, I am going to look for my One True Ally. An ally is someone who has my back. Someone who will soothe me when the soulmates drive me nuts. My ally will be my buddy and will make me laugh. He’ll help me stop focusing on what provokes me and start focusing on my new desires. Yep, an ally — that’s what I’m looking for.”….

YES YES YES!!! That’s exactly what I want too. An ally. A partner who truly believes in me where we can grow TOGETHER :)

I have felt like soulmates are those you can just relax around, be oneself and be seen, fully and completely and know that you are safe, that you are loved for you even if they challenge you to grow along the way. This idea that a soulmate is someone who helps provoke you to grow, being an irritant seems almost counter-intuitive and doesn’t entirely gel with me but I know everyone will have their own interpretation of that concept. It doesn’t mean your soulmate won’t challenge you on your shit(with love), that’s necessary for further growth. But JUST to do that and leave, the word soulmate is too big, grandiose for such a fleeting, albeit important transformative interaction.
Perhaps this idea what people are describing as a soulmate, is rather a teacher. The idea that someone will come into your life for however long and illicit change, provoke thought, call you on your shit to help you grow-
This may not be the soulmate of love but rather, a sage or teacher…there to guide you further on your journey of self-discovery. That makes more sense to me having connected with a few soulmates in my life. But maybe there are romantic soulmates and journey soulmates. I think these concepts are getting mixed together when really, soulmate and teacher can exist in one but they don’t have to be the same thing.

I’ve had enough people challenge me to grow, change, alter myself, think deeper etc etc..and I’ve done the same for others. I wouldn’t consider all of them soulmates. When I find people who just get me and love me for it and there is immediate love between us, there is an instant peace that comes. What happens is I become more ME. Unfettered by the garbage of the mind. I unfold further. Like I can finally cast off the cloaks of fear I hide under to protect those softer places in me and just be. And this is revelatory, cathartic. A huge sigh comes over me like wow…finally. I can just be me, unafraid.

Perhaps….a soulmate is a bit of both, an ally and a teacher. :)

Looking forward to savoring the book too :)
Amber, what to say to get your ex back

Great blog Beth !

Someone told me that the soulmate quote was told to the author by someone. It wasn’t something she said. However, I can’t confirm since I didn’t read the book.